


Hurt

by AbbodonAbandon



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, L is kind of a sad douchebag, Lowkey trans Light, M/M, Nightmares, Present Tense, Yotsuba Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-03 23:24:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14007114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbodonAbandon/pseuds/AbbodonAbandon
Summary: Sometimes, Light remembers. L would rather forget.





	Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Uhh, have some depressing "lawlight". I hope this is sufficiently literary. Please comment (and maybe check out my tumblr @abbadon-abandon)

When L looks over, he can tell the boy, his boy, is shaking. L’s fingers, tensed as they strike the tiny, backlit keys, flicker to a stop. The only movement is the pulse at his fingertips as he watches the boy. Well, that, and the almost imperceptible way the boy convulses. 

Just as the infinitesimal convulsions seem to quiet, the boy screams. Loudly. 

Like some sickening key in a lock, the scream unravels Light. Now, the convulsions wrack his too-thin frame, like the spreading of hairline fractures across barely-frozen ice. 

“Are you alright, Yagami-kun?” L asks it quietly, cursing his foolishness (because Light is most certainly Not Alright) almost as soon as the questioning words leave his lips. 

Light doesn't answer. Only convulses. For the first time in what may have been his life, L feels helpless. 

Then he doesn't. 

Stiffly, L sits up. Like an animal on all fours (knees and hands), he crawls over to Light. He sits above him, one hand hovering over Light’s still-shaking shoulder. From here, he can hear soft whimpers leaving Light. 

His hand touches down. Flatly, against the silky smoothness of Light’s skin, one pad trailing across to brush a strand of hair away from Light’s face before L catches himself. 

“Light-kun.” L whispers, softly, into Light’s ear. He lets himself stay for a moment, breath fanning out against the boy’s face. Not even the tiny, translucent hairs on Light’s cheek move at the contact. 

The shivering stops. And Light looks up. 

“It was another nightmare.” L says. Not like a question. 

Light only nods. 

“It was about your father.” Again, L says this unlike a question. 

Light opens his mouth, perhaps to protest, L muses, but L silences him with a solitary finger. “It is fine to feel this way, about your father. It is fine to have these dreams. He hurt you.” L murmurs. 

Light doesn't answer. Except for a sigh, maybe, but L cannot tell if he truly heard one. Light’s head falls back against the pillow, hair fanning out in a halo. L strokes it, gently, fingers threading and unthreading in the almost-tangled mess. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” L finally asks, when his fingers are all but exhausted (but not really, because L can continue this forever). 

The slump in Light’s shoulders is immediately perceptible. “No.” he finally answers. 

“Why not?” L frowns now, one arm sliding over Light, his Light, to pull him close to L’s chest. From the way Light tenses and relaxes in his hold, L knows Light considered, however briefly, pushing L away. L does not dwell on this. 

“Because… Fine.” L flinches at the bite behind Light’s words. 

“I dreamt I was in a room. It was all dark, and I couldn't move. There were no windows, in that room, but I knew that outside the moon was ugly and swollen, like an egg just about to hatch. I tried to move, you see, even though my mind had already told me that I couldn't. Because I was desperate, you see. I was desperate.” Light laughs, bitter and cruel. L can only pat him mechanically, his hand now a fumbling mitt against Light’s back. 

“I cried for help, you see. Until my throat felt hoarse, like it had split open and was bleeding. But no one answered. Only a laugh. And you laughed and laughed and laughed until your mouth leaked blood.” 

Light does not look at him. L does not know if he wants him too. 

“The dream was about you, L. It was about you.” Light says this brokenly, in only a whisper. 

“I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were afraid. That I had scared you.” 

Again, Light laughs, bitter like before, but sad and scared. He pushes at L’s hand, until L is disentangled and Light lays resolute and staring at the wall. 

L dares not move. 

Finally, Light speaks. His voice is soft and harsh. “ No, you didn't. You didn't mean to make me feel that way. But you know, L, it is fine to feel this way, about you. It is fine to have these dreams. You hurt me.”


End file.
